2008, I'll miss you.

You were the gayest. In the best way. 

This new years will be spent with half of my 4 core. Snowstorms in the east prevent Lauren from coming down until tomorrow. This stinks..  Mostly for her because she is the one stuck in CT for New Years Eve. I leave for Portchester in the hour.

In 2009, I plan on just doing. And live.

We out.

Merry Christmas from island named after the bastard son of the king.

Did you know? Santa is from the Island of Staten as well. I met him with Samantha this morning and the guy sounded just like a native. I never knew such a generous person would have come from such a hole like this.. But lo and behold!

I am ashamed to say that I haven't had the holiday spirit this year. I don't know what it is but I've worn my Santa hat once and albeit I spent more than 16 hours in that thing - and even worke up for work in it - that's the only time I wore it. We had our annual potluck and I woke up at 6am for work wearing the dress/outfit I wore the night before. I was also a little drunk still, I think.

Remember when you first went away to college and you kept seeing people from your high school but realized it wasn't them? After time, the reverse is true. Only you also see people from your high school and it IS actually them. And you have to say hi to them, and ask them how they are doing and what are they doing with their lives now. You have to do this for everyone, even your old enemies, and after three days and about 15 people it gets tiring.

But it does feel good to see people from high school and have the same goals you had before. Nope, I did not succumb to fear of being poor.. I still want to act. You're going to business school even though you wanted to sing? I will say that is great but what I really want to say is how bad I feel for you and that I hope you do not end up an old sad person wishing they did something else with their life.

SPEAKING OF CAREER GOALS: I am applying to graduate school. HOW SCARY is that!? I had a mini-panic attack today at my baby cousin's church sing along thing. I have to prepare 4 monologues and get my headshots together all before January 10th. If u seek amy.

I do also need to work on K-Hawk: The Musical.

All said and done, Christmas is still my favorite holiday. And I need to stop procrastinating.

MWAH

There you have it, proof Santa is a guido

If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

Reporting from Staten Island, and I have work in Purchase in 4 hours. Could I teleport there in time?

You betcha.

I am now applying to NYU Tisch and The New School for Drama for a MFA in Acting. Wish me luck. I won't need it... I applied for acting programs 4 years ago and failed. This was because I did not want/need it enough. I need to go into it with a completelt different mindset.

January I do a 1-man-1-woman show just because I can.

Last week of the semester. Time to tell the truth.

An All-Prime Low.

A few days ago I thought I was past my prime. Being 21 years old, this is incredibly depressing to realize/think. I was caught up on Facebook checking myself out in old pictures. I mean, how was I NOT at my prime. I mean, I was hot and hanging with the new kids.

Cut to today, and what do I have? a 9cm gash in my leg from vogueing in the mirror and 6 months left of college. Old alone and done-for? Maybe. But I guess this would have been my quarter-life crisis. Arielle said all I need a motorcycle and a younger man.

But I totally realized, I'm sort of the same person. More or less.
Life doesn't always go the way you plan it. But at least you will always have yourself.

Popular and glamourous we love ourselves and no one else.

So I decided that in August I'm moving to Hawaii.

Until then, I have to bulk up my resume as much as possible. So in May, I'll go to bartending school. I'll get as much money as I can working up here and then hop on a plane and pretty much just be home for Christmas.

Rewind to today. I just get home from Orlando Florida. Within 3 hours of being back last night I almost get into a fight with three people. I have a daunting task list of not too many things but just a few really really important things. I have to apply to the New School by Friday so that I don't have to worry about it over the break. The only thing delaying me is my lack of inspiration for my personal statement and my headshot.

I have to decide if I want to go home to decorate the Christmas tree this year. I hate that this season has been haunted by past year's memories. This is my favorite season and I feel emotionally unable to enjoy it for multiple reasons.

Everyone is sick. Including myself.

On a less-than-serious note, I got drunk in Epcot Thursday night and fell in Italy because I thought there was a step there. I had terrible hot chocolate and a flight that was delayed in the air Friday. Flying in circles waiting to land is probably my least favorite thing in the world.

I do not like boats. Or planes. Or driving fast, for that matter. Trains are nice but take too long.

On the more positive note, I enjoy traveling a great deal so I guess my fears/level of uncomfortable won't ever stop me.

This post is a splattering of tangents. Woe.